Black and White

Ta-Nahisi Coates from The Atlantic had this to say about Chris Matthews comment "I forgot Obama was black" after last night's State of the Union address:

I would submit that a significant number of white people in this country, can not stop fighting on the lie. They can't cop to the fact that they really have no standing to speak on Obama's relationship to blackness, because they know so little about black people. It's always hard to say, "I don't know." But no one else can say it for you.

This comment really spoke some truth to me, partially because of my stubborn nature, but also because of my personal history. I grew up in a homogenous, small, white town in Wisconsin. My experience with non-white people was very limited, and my relationship with non-white people was essentially non-existent.
Growing up I was only slightly aware of my own ignorance and my community's tendency for stereotyping, discrimination, and even racism. It wasn't until I moved away, gained some new experience, and made some new relationships that I even understood the bubble I grew up in. Even today, 14 years after moving away, and nearly 10 years into my marriage to a woman of color, I still feel that ignorance. I still have to fight, in my own mind, the stereotypes that I learned growing up. But the hardest thing of all, as TNC described, is to say "I don't know". My stubborn mind wants to say I can learn, I can eventually figure it all out. But I don't know what it's like to be anything but a white man who grew up in Wisconsin. I can listen, I can try to understand, I can feel pride and empathy and love for others, but I can never know. That's the human experience